Friday, October 3, 2008

B!tch Alert at Stamford Movie Theatre

Some lady called me a bitch tonight! Even the people I’m bitchiest to know I’m not a bitch, so obviously, that lady is a bitch. Damn. Bring on the teenage boys. They’re way more polite than 45 year old ladies. And, that bitch kicked my chair.

Right as the movie started, I got up to move two seats over because I noticed that the girl behind me had her feet up on the chair beside me… with no shoes on. Ewwwww. As I clambered over my husband, the lady I was moving in front of muttered loudly, “Oh, don’t do that.” (Her feet were on the arm rest of the chair I was moving to.)

“I have to,” I hissed. “That lady near me has her feet up and her shoes off. It’s gross.” I plopped down as she heaved her feet off. A second later, she gave my chair a pronounced kick. I turned and said, “What?!? I’m allowed to change my seat.”

That’s when she goes, “Bitch.”

I could have said, “I’m not a bitch. You’re a bitch.” But any adult who will kick the chair of another adult is clearly coo coo for Cocoa Puffs. Why bother engaging a crazy bitch? I work with children, so I’m used to restraining myself from expressing the strong emotions I’m feeling. Adults are a piece of cake. You bitches can’t get to me. I’ll just talk about you behind your back later. You suck, and you’re not worth my time. Gossiping about bitchy people, though, is fun. I’ll do that instead.

Actually, the one thing I wanted to ask this lady was if she was from Stamford. I don’t want that bitch in my town.

Oh! We saw Burn After Reading and it was pretty good. It’s a Coen brothers film, so of course there are a couple of bloody killings.

Me to husband, after movie: “Want to go home?”
Husband: “Aren’t you going to get in a fight?”
Me: “No, that lady was crazy.”
Husband: “I know, but your job is to entertain me.”
Me: “Nah. I have bigger things to worry about than that lady.”

One more thing: Maybe she kicked my chair by accident, but I don't think so. It was a hard kick, so I don't think it was from clumsiness. Plus, from the way she said, "Oh, don't do that," in a bossy, annoyed, entitled way, clearly, she was nasty.

8 comments:

CT Mom said...

Good for you for taking the high road! It is amazing to me what people do in movie theaters, and kids follow their parents' lead. I loved (?) the time when a group of boys ALL took their shoes off and put their stocking feet on the top of our seats. I could feel sweat socks brushing the top of my head - eewww! Luckily, I used my nastiest meanest mom look and they backed off. No parents around. Figures.

MamaBall said...

"When the worst that can happen to you for acting like a bitch/asshole is having to deal with another bitch/asshole, you don’t really have enough incentive to stop being a bitch/asshole. Odds are you feel you can out-bitch/asshole the other person.
But Bitch can’t beat Crazy. Crazy wins every time."
(from a Violent Acres post)
Kinda makes me wish you'd had some giant floral floppy hat in your purse that you could have pulled out and perched on your head in the theater! But then wacko woman would have done something else... anyone who is selfish and nasty enough to gripe and then kick the seat when someone sits in front of you at the theater (in a seat that YOU paid for, not her) is more than a little off upstairs. Let's feel sorry for her, though -- perhaps she ate too many FrootLoops as a child and all those colorful chemicals have altered her brain function and prevented her from adhering to normal grownup polite social conventions.

Julie said...

Don't worry, she likely doesn't live in Stamford....if so, grab your flaming torch and we can hunt her down with dogs in the night and throw her out ;)

Manager Mom said...

That right there is MESSED UP!

Sorry you had to endure the bitchitude.

Anonymous said...

Meowwww! Scratch..Catfigggght!

Jonathan "JR" said...

It floors me how obnoxious and entitled people can be. Yet another reason to go to the Port Chester AMC instead of the crummy Bow Tie theaters here.

Anonymous said...

This is why I don't go to the movies anymore. It's just not worth the agravation.

Anonymous said...

Go to the Avon (just saw Religulous and it was hilarious!) There's a better class of people there.