Advocate Photo Blog Making News! Darien Girls' Lacrosse Coach Suspended

I am constantly talking about how awesome the Advocate's photoblog In Sight is.  I don't mean to be repetitive, but there's an interesting discussion happening right now about the photos that Bob Luckey posted of the Darien girls' lacrosse coach grabbing her goalie's helmet and appearing to shove her backwards. The discussion at In Sight gets into pressures of high school sports, parents' expectations... it's something anyone who's been through school, or who has kids, can relate to. Go take a look!  

I don't know anything about the coach or her team, but I do think:

- It's great to open a dialogue about how we expect our kids to be treated.  I think that's what Bob Luckey meant to do, and I commend him.  

- I would not want any adult to put their hands on my kid like that, even if they were on a high-pressure, high-performing team.  

- Adults who work with children have a responsibility to hold themselves, each day and each minute, to the highest behavior standards they can manage.

- Everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes vary in degrees of seriousness.  

- A pattern of mistakes is a problem.   

I just saw in the paper (how ironic that I'm calling it a "paper" and I read it online) that the coach is suspended for the rest of the season but can return in 2013.  Wow.  

Click here to read more.

Family Fire Safety Day

In response to the tragic fire in Shippan, a local online mothers' group that I'm a part of has organized a Family Fire Safety Day at numerous local fire stations. CT Moms is an incredible organization and this is one of the many things they do to help the community.

At 10 am, several local fire stations are opening their doors to the public for family-friendly demonstrations and info. In Stamford, the Belltown Fire Station is participating, in Darien, the Noroton Heights Station, and in Greenwich, the Glenville Station (they installed my carseats and they were SO nice to us). Fire stations in Trumbull, Fairfield, Norwalk and Stratford are also participating; click here to see the list.

It's wonderful of the fire stations to do this, and it's impressive what a group of dedicated mothers can do. Click here to read more.

Touch a Shark!

I really like the Norwalk Aquarium, and this sounds like a great event.

Visitor response was so positive to “Touch A Shark” in February that the special exhibit will return for an encore April 16-24 to The Maritime Aquarium at Norwalk.

The special exhibit’s return corresponds to most area schools’ spring break week.

As similarly offered in February, “Touch A Shark” will feature live nurse sharks (Ginglymostoma cirratum), a comparatively docile species that tolerates having their backs gently touched by human fingers.

“We had a great response to ‘Touch A Shark’ during the winter school break,” said Chris Loynd, the Aquarium’s marketing director. “Visitors were surprised at the feel of the sharks’ tough skin. And, importantly to us, they also learned that sharks aren’t the violent bloodthirsty beasts that they’re portrayed as in the media.”

Aquarium volunteers will be on-hand to make sure the shark-human interactions are safe for both parties.

Interpretative graphics will provide details about nurse sharks and how they hunt and eat their prey, and also about how sharks sense their world.

Plus, be sure to bring your camera to “Touch A Shark” for a shark dive-cage photo opportunity! A real diving cage, used for safe approaches to large sharks, will be positioned next to the Aquarium’s cast model of a 16-foot great white shark caught in the eastern end of Long Island Sound in the 1970s. Step inside the cage and pose to look like you’re having a real underwater encounter with the largest species of predatory shark – a species you don’t want to touch.

“Touch A Shark” will be free with Maritime Aquarium general admission: $12.95 for adults, $11.95 for seniors and $9.95 for children 2-12.

For more details, go online to www.maritimeaquarium.org or call (203) 852-0700. Click here to read more.

I Am Watching You, Stamford.

My world is getting small.

I seem to see someone I know everywhere I go, and I blame the baby. In a good way. I feel like, especially in the mall/Target/Cove/Bull's Head/SMNC cicuit- you know, where the parents hang- I had better be on my best behavior, because chances are, I'm gonna see someone I know.

This feeling actually makes me DRIVE better, because I'm afraid that if I drive like a punk, that person is gonna pull into daycare RIGHT BEHIND ME, and I'm going to be revealed as a jerk to this other parent- a parent who I'll see regularly for the next several years. I see my good behavior as an investment in future karma- and a good reputation.

I've got a good memory for faces, and I like talking to people, and I'm always looking at people, so obviously this makes me more likely to spot people. It's sort of a hobby of mine, actually.

But having the baby in daycare, and taking baby yoga and other classes, really has caused me to be connected with many, many more adults who live in the same area I do.

I just ran into a woman I recognized at a playground, and we puzzled for several minutes over where we knew each other from. Stamford Hospital Mom's Group? Attachment Parenting Group of Fairfield County? Baby Yoga? La Leche League? No... I realized later that night that I knew her from the one toddler yoga class I tried out at Elements Yoga in Darien.

Don't have kids? Well, maybe you go to my GYM, so I might know your face any way.

So hey, even if you don't recognize me... I might recognize you, so YOU better be on good behavior!

That's right, Stamford, keep on your TOES, 'cause I am out there... watching you.

List of just some of my random sightings:

• A Stamford Hospital Moms Group friend at Capriccio.
• A baby yoga friend at Stamford Museum and Nature Center.
• A coworker and her kids at Target.
• A Stamford Hospital Mom at Cove.
• A Stamford Hospital Mom at the grocery store.
• A mom I know from our walks at the grocery store.
• Another Stamford Hospital Mom at the grocery store (who I avoided).
• A lady I recognized but couldn't place at a playground.
• A coworker's friend (who I'd met at a playdate) at Target.
• Also, lots and lots of other people I see but avoid.

You see what I am talking about?

I should really make an effort to DRESS better since I seem to see people I know a lot, but a lady can't do it all... especially when she is STILL not quite back into her pre-pregnancy wardrobe. Click here to read more.

Maple Syrup and Baby Turtles: Stamford Museum & Nature Center in Winter!

When I went to SMNC 2 summers ago, pre-baby, I mostly looked at the animals outdoors. I went last week when my sister and her kids were in town, and I feel like I finally really got to enjoy the place. It was really cold, and there was still some snow on the ground. We walked around and looked at the llamas and sheep and horses, but we also spent time in a few indoor places I hadn't bothered to look at before.

1. The turtles and scary snakes house! For a Saturday in winter, it wasn't too crowded, I think because we got there after 3 pm. It was so cool. There were baby turtles, and big lizards... and it was nice and toasty.
2. The maple syrup house! From outdoors, it looked closed, but the maple syrup boiler was steaming away. We got samples of syrup and a pleasant speech about syrup from the not-hard-on-the-eyes maple maker.
3. Gift shop. I didn't make it to that part. Had to feed baby in car.
4. Museum. My sister and the kids went to the actual museum at the top of the hill and they liked it.

I highly recommend Stamford Museum and Nature Center for a visit, year-round.

This post is not too exciting, but with a full time job, other blog, and baby- oh and husband and friends- and a major sleep deficit- I think I need to lower my standards a tad.

The SMNC has a maple syrup event this weekend:

Our Annual First County Bank Maple Sugar Sunday event is just around the corner – this Sunday, March 7, at Stamford Museum & Nature Center from 11 am to 3 pm.

Visitors will be able to see a wide range of techniques used to create maple syrup including colonial and modern methods. Games, crafts, face painting and story telling are just some of the fun activities planned for this annual festival! Visitors will even get a chance to taste sugar on snow – a sweet maple treat! Our famous pancake brunch will also return to the Bendel Mansion (main building) featuring our own fresh maple syrup! We will also have a “chef showdown” featuring local chefs Frank Daniele(Frank & Julio’s Complete Event Planning) and Robin Selden (Marcia Selden Catering) going head to head in a maple themed cooking challenge! Visitors will have a chance to sample their creations and vote for their favorite. Click here to read more.

Tag Sale to Benefit Domestic Violence Crisis Center

If you like a deal, and are free Saturday May 2, head down toward Shippan to check out this tag sale for a good cause.

CT-Moms Tag Sale to Benefit the Domestic Violence Crisis Center
Toys, clothes, electronics, baby gear, house wares, and more!
Date: Saturday, May 2nd, 2009
Time: 11am-4pm
Location: Our Lady Star of the Sea Church, 1200 Shippan Avenue, Stamford

CT-Moms, the largest and most active on-line networking organization for Moms in Fairfield County, will be hosting a multi-family tag sale on Saturday, May 2, 2009 from 11am-4pm with over twenty CT-Mom families represented. Sale items include everything from household items to electronics, books, CDs, DVDs, clothes, shoes, toys and more.

The venue was generously donated by the Church, and the sale is a fundraiser for the Domestic Violence Crisis Center. Sponsors include those from The Sitting Service of CT and The Little Gym of Stamford/Fairfield. FREE for buyers to enter and plenty of parking.

"We know this event is going to be a huge success and we're proud to support the victims, survivors and families in our community who are affected by the horror of violence in their own home, as well as the staff and volunteers who care for them," says Medha Thomas, founder of CT-Moms. Click here to read more.

School Employee Bought Liquor For Teenage Girls and Is Still Employed? Really?

I cannot believe that a school employee who buys alcohol (specifically, tequila shots after an Alive at Five concert) for middle school girls would NOT be fired. The Advocate article, titled "Stamford school worker charged with buying girls alcohol," starts:
A 25-year-old man who works in the technology department of the Stamford Public School System and is charged with buying alcohol for four middle school girls in July has applied for a special probationary program that would clear his record of the charges.

Um, I have some questions.
1. First of all, is the guy guilty or not? This alleged crime occurred 7 months ago; where’s the resolution? From what his lawyer says, he is guilty:
Seeger said one mistake should not mar LaRose's career. "It's an error in judgement," Seeger said. "It shouldn't cost him his future."
If he knew these were teens, yes it should. Well, I’m not trying to ruin his future; I’m saying, Stamford Public Schools are not the best place for someone who thinks it’s OK to drink with teenage girls and still receive a salary from Stamford taxpayers. There is a line you do not cross as an adult, and this man crossed it.

2. Does this person work directly with children? Does he work in a school, or is he like, stuck in a back room at town hall?
If the person works in a school building, in any way at any time, clearly, he should lose his job. When you work with kids, you don’t get to make “errors in judgment” like that. I mean, maybe you can say “damn” by accident. But you don’t accidentally arrange to meet teenage girls at a bar, which is what it sounds like this guy may have done:
The prosecutor, Assistant State's Attorney Mitchell Rubin, said LaRose was not as innocent as Seeger made him seem. He had contacted one of the girls on the social networking site Facebook days before, telling her he was a disc jockey and could get her into a bar, Rubin said. LaRose met the girls at the concert and drove them to the bar, where he bought them the drinks, according to the affidavit. Their chats on Facebook were not of a sexual nature, and the victim said the two were just friends.
(Lesson: find friends your own age.)

3. How did the man know the 4 girls? If he knew them from his job, he should clearly be fired. If the 4 girls were family friends, well, that’s still pretty bad, but it makes the man seem like a little less of a sexual predator.

4. Did he know the girls were that young? If I were to find out that this man had NO CLUE these girls were teens, and somehow thought they were 21 year old women, I’d give the guy a second chance. Right? It’s one thing if he was lied to. But if he had an inkling these were teens… forget it.

If I were a Stamford parent, and I knew a school was knowingly employing someone who knowingly bought tequila shots for kids, I’d be horrified. What school system would allow that? Clearly, we’re missing key info about this case. Stamford Schools owes us an explanation of why this person might remain employed.

Click here to read more.

Fairfield County Weekly Sloppily Busts on a Topic Near and Dear to My Heart

Voice amplication systems have nothing to do with why “Public School Still Sucks”- that’s the title of a not-so-cleverly constructed article in the Fairfield Weekly. The article opens by portraying the horrifying scenario of a Stamford teacher- gasp!- using technology to make it easier for students to hear her:
Newfield Elementary teacher Shelly Romano walks around with something that looks like an electric razor dangling from her neck. It's part of a RedCat amplification system, which booms her voice across her classroom via wireless infrared technology. It's not just for kids with hearing disabilities, principal Miriam Arango told the Stamford Times; it makes all students filter out every sound but Romano's voice. Arango said "the students don't even realize that they are paying more attention."

Um, I had to start using a system like this last year when the daily overuse of my voice almost ended my ten-year teaching career. I know a thing or two about the subject of voice amplification; it saved me after 3 devastating years in which I could not teach effectively, could not go out to restaurants with friends, and could not even read a book to my nephews without severe voice pain.

The article- by the FCW Editorial staff- then goes on to its main argument, which is totally unrelated to voice amp systems:
We bring up this extreme scene from a local school — the Bionic Schoolmarm with the voice in stereo — to show the kind of insanity State Rep. Jason Bartlett (D-Bethel, Redding, Danbury) wants to expose our children to for an extra two years. Bartlett has proposed a bill to increase the age at which Connecticut students can pull themselves out of compulsory education, with a parent's permission, from 16 to 18.

Clearly, if that scene seems “extreme” to the writer, he did not do much research on voice amplification in the classroom. (I recommend this Washington Post article on the subject, which describes how hundreds of DC area classrooms now use VA because of the benefits to students and teachers.) VA systems are not a form of “insanity” that brainwashes kids with a robot voice; it’s about the teacher’s voice being clear as a bell over the constant noise of 25 active little bodies in a large room. I’m sure most parents would rather their child be talked to in a calm voice through a high quality speaker system rather than shouted at by a strained voice that can barely croak at the end of the day.

The FCW author’s hook about the teacher’s mic system makes no sense in the context of his actual topic. If his point is that public school “sucks,” he’s going to need to give a better example of why. It’s not because a teacher is using a microphone to save her voice and communicate more clearly and easily with her students. (I’ll pipe up with a Stamford Talk “DUH” here.)

The article ends with an equally unclever mic tie-in:
We have an idea for a new law: Require all kids to leave school by age 16. That would force schools to drop the cosmetic makeovers and figure out how Dutch and Finnish schools teach everything useful American schools do before students hit puberty. More importantly, it would give our youth two years to do something more productive than sit in a room and stare at some bizarre woman with a blinking gadget tied around her neck.

Dude, just leave out the last line! Stop being such a smarty pants with the whole mic thing! The article would have been so much more coherent without it.
And why is the author calling that teacher "bizarre?" Did he observe her and find her behavior odd? Or did he just read one article in the Stamford Times that mentioned her, and then use its info as if he himself had actually done some research on the use of voice amplification systems?

I left a comment on the article at the FW website. This is what I said:
I don't think voice amplification systems are why "public school still sucks."
Did you interview the "bizarre woman," or did you just read about her in the Stamford Times?
If you knew anything about voice amplification systems in the classroom, you'd have chosen a different and more relevant hook for this article.
I'm not sure why you needed to insult that teacher, and criticize technology you clearly don't understand, to make a point about the required age to stay in school
Bring on the second draft with a different hook and end.

I think the article relished in the idea of insulting a person while making their otherwise perfectly rational point about public education. To call someone else bizarre, someone he probably has not met, is just strange.

I used to really like the Fairfield Weekly, but I notice more and more often that some of the articles are unnecessarily mean-spirited. That bothers me. You shouldn't insult people unless there's a good reason, and the FCW Editorial did not have a good enough reason to insult that teacher. In this case, the unnecessary meanness shows how uninformed the writer of the article is. Click here to read more.

Stamford Football And My Anti-Rudeness Paintball Gun Plan

Before I was struck down by a cold Saturday, I attended a Stamford High football game. Let me get my disillusioned whining out of the way: Stamford High football is nothing like the West Texas football on the TV show Friday Night Lights. There was not a huge crowd, or, at least, the crowd wasn't tightly packed because the stadium is pretty big. That's nice for personal space, but it makes it harder to get swept up in pure football madness. Reality: It was a good game. I was impressed with the QB, who threw several touchdown passes in the first half. Stamford ended up winning 38-27.

The only bad part about the game, besides the coach not being actor Kyle Chandler, was the high school kids. They were OK until halftime, when the opposing team went right through the middle of the bleachers to their locker rooms. The kids lined the bleacher railing by the locker room entry, screamed horrible things, and spit at the other team (photo below). It was a pretty nasty display. It made me worry about the pent-up aggression of Stamford teens.

I'm pretty sure we never did that when I was in high school, but then again, we were in a chill, kinda rural Virginia county. In the FC, as you know, people are aggressive, stressed out, and angry. You don't have to drive around long enough to see people get ugly. I was surprised to see that at a football game though. Kids were shoving past me to go scream in the faces of the other team. I'm fine with a little "You suck!" but spitting is disgusting, and I really don't appreciate big high school boys bumping into me. I don't mean like, they brushed my shoulder. I mean like, I got kneed in the back by some kid who was in a huge hurry to go shout at other teenage boys.

I'm sick of Stamford people pushing me around. I might have to start fighting people. No, I wouldn't do that. I will, though, think about asking the Stamford police for a special dispensation to carry and fire a paintball gun in public. Did I ever blog about that? I got that great idea in August. I'll blog more about it later, but it involves me being a trusted public servant who gets to shoot a paint gun at say, cars who are rude to pedestrians, or people who kick my seat on purpose at the movie theatre. That way, I get the pleasure of physically assaulting people without actually hurting them, and mean people get the message: "That was mean. I saw you. I don't like you. This is your punishment. Don't do it again. Be nicer."

It might seem like I have a little pent-up aggression of my own. But that paintball gun would solve it, and perhaps help bring about a more civil Stamford. Note: I'd make sure that the gun did not look like a real gun. It would look like a happy gun. Click here to read more.

Local Bloggers Compete in Charity Smackdown

Two of my blogger friends, Manager Mom and Fairfield County Child, are participating in a national blogger competition to get people to donate to school projects through a charity called Donors Choose.

Donors Choose lets teachers post proposals for things that they need in their classrooms. Anyone can go onto the site and donate as little as $5, and the money goes directly to fund the teacher proposals. Manager Mom and Fairfield County Child both picked projects to benefit local schools, like new instruments for music education or a projector for an ESL classroom. If you know anything about public education, you know that often, schools cannot afford anything beyond basic supplies. This blogger challenge is a great way to have a direct impact on our local schools.

Both Manager Mom and Fairfield County Child are my friends in blogging and real life, so I won't take sides- I want them both to do well in the challenge. I know the economy stinks right now, but even a $5 donation will mean a lot to the teachers and kids. It will also help our own Stamford bloggers make a good showing against all of those West Coast mom sites. I like competition. Even if you don't care about education, consider donating in the name of beating other people. I'm sure that's in the spirit of Donors Choose, right?

Here are the links to check out the school projects that they're promoting:

Manager Mom's page:Manager Mom's Educationpalooza

Fairfield County Child's page:Fairfield County Child giving page

Thank you for considering! I myself have been too lazy and/or stressed out and/or unorganized recently to donate, but now that I have this post up, I'm feeling like I am going to get my act together and donate today. Hm. I'm feeling preemptively proud of myself... but I'll post a comment when I actually do donate.

Forgive the ridiculous photo above (courtesy of Manager Mom). It's Manager Mom along with two other local bloggers, Always Home and Uncool and Adam B. of Adam's World. I was there that day, but I guess I didn't make it into that particular photo. Click here to read more.

Stamford Museum and Nature Center: Adorable

I got a tour of the Stamford Museum and Nature Center last week. I figured it would just be a museum with a boring garden, but the SM&NC is actually a working farm with an incredible variety of animals, including otters, alpacas, oxen, and the biggest pigs I've ever seen. The animals, especially the otters and donkeys, are out of control adorable. In the museum, you've got until August 17 to see a very cool Lego exhibit. The next exhibit, Pets in America, will start September 13 and focus on the history of pets in America. There will be a mouse theatre, FDR's dog's collar, and a "My Pet and I" section where you can put up stories and pics of your own pet. See my flickr site for my SM&NC photos, and check out the SM&NC website for more info and dates relating to the pet exhibit. Admission is free on Wednesdays, but usually $8/adult and $4/child.

SM&NC is just north of the Merritt off of High Ridge. There are fun-sounding dog programs in the fall at SM&NC, including dog agility demonstrations and seminars on dog behavior problems. Actually, there is no link that leads right to info about Pets in America, so I'm going to include key info from the website here:

Pets in America

September 13, 2008-February 1, 2009
Pets in America explores the bond between people and animals and the history of pet-keeping.
Stamford Museum & Nature Center Goes to the Dogs
The interaction between people and animals will be further explored through related programming. On Sept. 21, the museum will present SM&NC Goes to the Dogs, a day-long festival celebrating dogs and the people and organizations that rescue them and train them for service. The event's main feature will be dog agility demonstrations led by Mary-Elizabeth Simpson... The Yankee Flyers canine Frisbee team will also perform. Dog service groups will share their goals and trained dogs with visitors. SM&NC Goes to the Dogs will be held from 11 am to 3 pm. Visitors may not bring their pet dogs.
Related programs:Have a problem with your dog? The SM&NC partners with Stamford Animal Care and Control to offer a monthly seminar series in conjunction with the Pets in America exhibition. All programs will be held from 7 to 8:30 p.m. at the SM&NC: Sept. 16: "Dog Behavior 101: Why does my dog...?" Oct. 21: "Successfully Adopting a Shelter Dog," Nov.18: "Introduction to Canine Nutrition," Dec. 16: "Dogs and Kids: Building Blocks for a Solid Friendship," and Jan. 20: "Is Your Christmas Puppy Leaving You Presents?".
--In another two-part lecture series, naturalist Chris Evers from Animal Embassy will explore whether exotic animals make good pets. These programs, which will feature live animals, will be held on Fridays, Oct. 10, and Nov. 7, from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m., at SM&NC.
--On Nov. 14, from 6:30 to 7:30 pm singer Lizzie Swan will host a pet-themed children's pajama party and sing-along. Click here to read more.

Rrrrr Stamford Talk Angry at Advocate Editorial

There is a ridiculous editorial in the Advocate today. It's so pointless that I'm surprised it ran. The title was "School closings require good reason” and, after a paragraph of jibberish about how superintendents make a lot of money, it made the point that kids should not have been sent home in the 97 degree heat on Monday and Tuesday.

Well, what a koinkydink, I'm a teacher in a room with no AC, so I whipped out a response. Here it is below. I posted it as a comment on Topix and sent another version (without the Stamford Talk "DUH") to the editor. I hope it gets published.

Dear editor:

You SHOULD have visited the schools before you wrote this.

I teach in one of the un-ACd schools and it was by far the worst in my ten years of teaching. The heat and humidity were nauseating to all of us. You didn't do much research if you only heard a "few reports."

I don't understand your nasty attitude about kids needing to toughen up. If you were in the schools, you would know how nice most kids are and how hard they work. The kids tried to tough it out, but all we could do was sit and look at each other listlessly, and then when it was time to change classes, wade through slick, humid halls with 700 middle schoolers. School is for learning, not for toughening up, and no learning could go on in humid, hot, 100 degree rooms.

It's laughable that you say the "creative" teachers moved to the ACd spaces. I'm going to give you a big Stamford Talk DUH on that. That's what we all did, but there was not enough space for the hundreds of kids who were in the un-ACd rooms. That's why kids were sent home. It was the right decision.

You seem to want kids to suffer. If it makes you feel better, don't worry, it's "uncomfortable" all of June and August. Please, feel free to pick a 95 degree day to come visit and sit in my room for an hour at 2pm. Actually, I'll sit; you can stand and teach.

I think it is so odd that whoever wrote the piece was not even IN a school building on those hot days! It seemed like someone just felt like complaining about schools... maybe that person should toughen up! Click here to read more.

News of the Weird in Greenwich: Principal Suspended Over Minor Cupcake Dispute

Cupcakes are always a hot topic for adults. I, for one, go crazy for cupcakes because I have them so rarely. I can't help but think the parent who set in motion a Greenwich principal's suspension was similarly crazed by the cupcakes that he insisted on delivering directly to his daughter's classroom.

Evidently, school rules say parents should not deliver things directly to a kid's classroom in the middle of the day. The parent leaves the item and the kid comes to pick it up. That's what the principal told the Dad who was bringing the treats for his daughter's 9th birthday.

I really can't tell from the article, but it looks like the problems arose when the dad left the school and then, later in the day, saw a new document on the school website titled "Birthday Celebrations" that was added right after he left the school. I guess the dad feels singled out now, but can I just say...

This is so going to be a case of one person ruining the cupcake fun for everyone! You know that from now on, birthday goodies will be banned from schools.

OK, but back to the subject of the principal. Why is he being suspended? I have no clue. I just posted under the Advocate's useless comments system: "There MUST be more to the story than adding a cupcake rule to a website... or else why would the principal be suspended?" (It's useless because I can't follow the discussion via comments to my email- I have to go BACK to the webpage. Fine for one article, but what if I'm trying to follow comments on several stories from the week? Do I have to keep the pages open in my browser? Clutter! Advocate, you are making me work too hard, and no real discussions get going on your site.)

There must be some gossip here... were heated comments exchanged? To me, this looks like a weaselly way to get rid of a principal, because what district/school suspends a person for something so minor? They must have already had it in for this person, because this situation is ridiculous.

The cupcake drama is so much more interesting than the latest Stamford Public Schools drama, which involves coming up with a brand new redistricting plan. I think there might be some more drama there- the Stamford Times seems to imply that the board basically gave up and handed it over to the superintendent to think of a plan. Whatever. I cannot spend any more brain cells on that topic. Maybe I'll wait until a follow up article comes out and then write about the fact that after almost a year, the Stamford School Board has alienated 1/4 of the district's elementary school parents by threatening to close their kids' schools.

Admit it Stamford... are we a little jealous that the biggest thing Greenwich Schools have to worry about is cupcakes?

Related Advocate Article: "Principal's Suspension Puzzles Parents." This is the initial article about cupcakes in which, oddly, a school official is quoted as saying the principal was suspended because of "serious allegations." Everyone I spoke to about that yesterday assumed it was something horrible like stealing, using the school property for personal purposes, or an affair with a teacher! But no... it was... cupcakes? Click here to read more.

School Clusterschmuck Continues

The Superintendent just proposed closing a different school... kinda out of nowhere. I'm just going to give you a few quotes from the Advocate article, because I vowed never to write about the subject again.

Starr's proposal to close Stark inflames debate
By Donna Porstner 04/29/2008

STAMFORD - Elected officials are unhappy with the latest school closing plan, saying flip-flopping and indecision is needlessly upsetting residents.

Schools Superintendent Joshua Starr on Thursday night proposed closing Julia A. Stark Elementary on Glenbrook Road and moving Toquam Magnet Elementary students and teachers into the building... The plan came as a surprise to many because Stark was not one of five schools the school board's Redistricting Committee had been considering for closure...

Parents across the city worry their child's school could be next, officials said. "It's really detrimental to the well-being of the school district to have a school-closing-of-the-month theory...” said state Sen. Andrew McDonald, D-Stamford.

Starr said he came up with Stark plan because it would increase the number of magnet seats and would allow the city to have three elementary schools south of Interstate 95, where there's a large density of students. Adding a third school would mean fewer low-income students would be bused across town to attend school, he said.

"I think there are some questions to ask about who gets bused in the city of Stamford," Starr said. "I simply want to raise that issue to the Board of Education so they understand the implications. That's what a superintendent does."

...McDonald said the Stark plan only made matters worse. "It's a really unique skill to infuriate every contingent of parents in one meeting," he said.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COMMENT!!! Click here to read more.

Silent, Always-On TV in Westhill High Library

There is an article in today’s Advocate about how Westhill High has a new 50-inch plasma TV hanging above the checkout desk. It cost $1,810 and plays CNN all day with no sound. Now, where else have you seen that? That’s right. In the waiting area at the airport.

Obviously, it’s useless to have that in the media center, unless, for some reason, that’s where kids kill time at Westhill. Even if kids are killing time, they don’t want to do it looking at a silent news show. They want to doodle in their notebooks or work on their laptops.

Some lines from the article prove that the TV is there just to soothe lonely people:

It can be used to show PowerPoint presentations and to advertise school events, [technology management services director Michael Pensiero} said.
A TV is a good idea for ads- duh- but stick it in the school’s main hall if it’s going to be used for that. And who’s going to pull up chairs to the checkout video to watch a power point? I’m sure there’s a place in the computer lab for that. In fact, the librarian confirms that later in the article.

"I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first, and now if I forget to turn it on, and I look over, I feel closed off from the world," [Westhill Head librarian Jan Benedict] said.
Well, if that’s not a clear case of TV keeping a lonely person company, what is? I have no problem giving that person some fake adult company-- I once read that the TV show Friends stimulates the same part of your brain that your real friends do—but a little 20-inch could have fit right on the counter where only she can see it. I don’t begrudge that librarian a TV.

During a mid-day visit to the school last week, dozens of students were typing on computers near the television, almost oblivious to it. TV with the sound off has no interest for teenagers; that’s an adult thing. Westhill needs to reconsider if it's acceptable to use their media center to condition kids to ignore silent, moving images. I'm sure the other high schools in Stamford don't have a plasma in their media center, and I'm sure that other schools could have probably used some new social studies textbooks.

It's the only set in the building hooked up to live television.
"It's our window to the world," Benedict said. "I think it's wonderful."
That concept is 30 years old. TVs aren’t our windows to the world; the internet is. For people over 50 or 55, TV still might provide that. If you are under 45, it’s the internet. 50-inch plasmas are for fun, and the kids at Westhill don’t need silent CNN haunting their every moment in the media center.

The TV- another duh!!!- should be put in the teacher’s lounge. Those are the lonely people stuck with kids all day who need an outside window to the world! (And I have no beef with that. They should have spent 800 bucks to get a 34-inch for the teachers.) Click here to read more.

If I Read One More Thing About Closing a School...

What in the schmuck is going on with Stamford school closing/redistricting? I can't keep up. An Advocate ed letter from yesterday says, "I was absolutely outraged with what I read in The Advocate on April 11 regarding the potential closure of The International School at Rogers Magnet." What the- last week it was K.T. Murphy! I don't read articles about the schools anymore, because it's such a clusterschmuck. It's painful to watch, much like the pregnant man on Oprah.

Sister: "Did you read anything about the pregnant man?"
Me: "Ugh- no. I just avoided all of that."
"I mean, who decides that? What makes a person a man?"
"Take out your uterus."
"Yeah, but he's legally a man."
"Well, they should probably switch that back."

Doesn't that sound a lot like what's going on with the school board? Every two weeks the school board hints that they'll be closing a different school. Last month it was Toquam, last week it was KT Murphy, now it's Rogers. A casual observer can't keep up. If I ever need to know what's going on with the schools, I email my friend who is a Toquam parent. With all the rigamarole they've been through, they know what's going on better than the school board does. Last fall Toquam Magnet was one of two schools threatened, then it was out, then in January it was back on, but not for sure, then it was sure... and then the mayor stepped in to save the day, which now puts other schools up to be axed. Don't quote me on that sequence, but you get the idea. I'm not even going to bother fact-checking it, because it's absurd.

Note: nothing against the pregnant man. I just avoid things that seem like they're going to be too much trouble to get into, like Stamford school closings, or the Hillary vs. Obama debates.

Lost and Battlestar Galactica once seemed too much to keep up with, but now I am addicted, and that's probably why I don't have time for Obama and the pregnant man. It's much easier to handle things that aren't part of the real world. Click here to read more.

Free Madrigal and Chorus Concert at SCA, and Possible Adrenaline Addiction in the FC

Let me repeat, this event is free. Tonight (Wed.) at 7:30 the choral groups from Stamford schools are singing at Stamford Center for the Arts.

With all the hoohah going on with Stamford Public Schools, it might be nice to get a look at the kids we are arguing over. A reader tells me that Madrigals from Stamford High and the Chamber Singers and Gospel Choir from Westhill are performing, but there are many other groups as well. I love any type of live music, especially ones that focus on the voice. I would have loved to go to this event, especially because the reader who contacted me is really cool, or at least, she seems so from her posts, but I leave in a couple of hours for lovely Tupelo, Mississippi.

That's right. Stamford Talk will be coming at you live, for the next ten days, from one of the poorest and unhealthiest states in the nation.

Isn't it nice to get away? When I go down to MS, it becomes clear how very demented this area has made me. When I wait in the line at the small grocery store in my sister's town, I can feel my mind racing and my heart palpitating. I'm used the the beeping and bustling energy of our Super Stop and Shop, so the quiet grocery store creates a lot of tension in me. I want to shout and scream to break the quiet. I always think of myself as a relaxed person, but obviously, after almost ten years up here, I am an adrenaline junkie.

Please tell me I am not the only one who feels this way. Click here to read more.

Stamford School Board: Secretive or Senseless?

An article in yesterday’s Advocate starts:
The Board of Education Redistricting Committee last night voted to close an elementary school in 2009 but delayed a decision on which one for at least a month.
I’m sorry, is that a joke? Have you not been hashing out the same question for six months?

The school board has been delaying the same decision since October, when they first announced their nebulous plan to close a school. In January, the board still hadn’t announced which school would close, despite ominious hints it would be Toquam Elementary. Finally, by early March, the board announced to the parents that Toquam would be closed. They also offered a completely whacked out plan about where the Toquam kids would go.

Last weekend, the New York Times covered the situation, highlighting the fact that Toquam appeared to be an ideal school: small, racially balanced, good test scores, parent support. Two days ago, the board has delayed the decision for a month… the same decision they’d been delaying since October.

To the untrained eye, this looks like a Stooges skit with everyone running around and bumping heads. Many of these untrained eyes are considering buying homes in the area, and they’re thinking, When I have kids, do I want to deal with this? Should I buy a cheaper home in Fairfield, where I hear the schools are good, and just suck up the commute?

In the Stamford Times, A.J. O’Connell writes:
Malloy, a non-voting member of the board of education, told the board at a redistricting committee meeting that more dialogue with the parents, the state and with the community is needed before the board can decide which school to close.

I’m glad he’s stepping in… but hasn’t there been dialogue over the past 6 months? What new info will come forth in this new dialogue, and where was that info last week?

O’Connell reports details that make the situation even more gossip-worthy. The mayor stepped in to delay the decision… by cutting the furniture budget of the new Cove inter-district magnet school that’s under construction (which, try to follow me, is why an elementary school needs to be closed). Cutting the budget means the new school can’t open in Sept. ’09, meaning an old school won’t be closed (or something- I have a really hard time following all of this even though I read every newspaper article at least twice).

He took away the furniture budget so the school board won’t be able to implement the closing? How Robin Hood of him. To the untrained eye, it looks like Malloy thinks the school board is making bad decisions, and the only way he can stop them is with desperate measures like taking away tables and chairs.

I just reread the Advocate article and found a new aspect to an already laughable situation:
Board members agreed to the one-month delay to give Mayor Dannel Malloy time to talk to state officials about how the new school may be populated. Members were told the magnet school couldn't have a traditional attendance district, in which children are assigned to a building based on where they live… Malloy and board members were vague about what they hope to get from the state.

Vague? Really? As a prospective Stamford Public Schools parent, I don’t like to see the leadership behaving so erratically and mysteriously. What’s the big secret, guys?

I like to gossip, but I don’t like to be negative. I only want to emphasize that many people are watching right now. The board’s actions over the next month or two will determine if people see the school system as a bonus to a great city or the biggest reason to go elsewhere.



Related posts:

March 17: Stamford Press: Toquam in the NY Times

March 6: Toquam School Pretty Much Dead

Jan 8: Board of Ed Redistricting Hearing: Test Scores, Money, Suspense!

Oct 18: Stamford School Controversy Part 2

Oct 6: Stamford School Shakeup
Click here to read more.

FC Saves Its Drama for Its Mamas

How many times have you been irritated at headlights blinding you as a car rides your ass on 95, or even a side street in Stamford or Greenwich? And how many times does that car turn out to be a Volvo station wagon driven by a woman? If you’ve been in the FC a while, you’re not surprised. This area revolves around women, many of whom are moms.

There’s a stereotype in this area of a blonde driving an SUV who terrorizes parking lots with her mediocre spatial relation skills. I don’t care for stereotypes. I don’t think that way, and neither should you. Keep an open mind: that woman could have brown hair, or be driving a BMW. Either way, watch out.

Most mama drama occurs in the private sphere, but you can get a glimpse of some major drama on the website I Saw Your Nanny. If people think they see a nanny cheating with a husband, they post a description of when and where. The site happens to be run out of Greenwich, a hotspot for FC mama drama. I found the site in October, when my google search for Stamford turned up a lurid nanny sighting at Crabshell. Da-rama!!!

Other mama drama topic: schools. Men don’t care about the test scores and teacher-student ratios of their kids’ elementary school. It’s up to the moms to rampage about that. Sure, the parent websites for saving Toquam are run by men, but the internet is a skewed sample because it’s dominated by men… men that women shamelessly exploit for their computer expertise. Men are but tools in mamas’ dramas.

If you’re out during the day in Stamford, or in any bar in the evening, you might wonder if some of the FC drama involves men. How could it not, with so many of them out and about? Well, watch those men for 5 minutes and you’ll understand that men, without women, are boring. Men don’t provide drama. They don’t act over the top at bars. They don’t wave their diamond-covered hands as they laugh raucously. They just stand there talking and drinking beers. That’s not drama.

That’s not drama… and that’s OK. Someone’s got to be stable and staid, and someone’s got to be an audience for the drama after 7pm. Someone’s got to drive defensively. Someone’s got to administer the websites. Men don’t provide drama, but you know they're secretly glad to be included.


Related Stamford Talk posts:

--I discover the site in "Blog for Paranoid Parents Across the US"

--I find out it's based in Greenwich in "Nanny Craze Hits Stamford"

--I tell you what you already know (men are helpless without women) in "Stamford's Single Women: Where Are You?" Click here to read more.

Stamford Press: Toquam in the NY Times

The New York Times features the closing* of Toquam in an article called "Stamford Will Close K-5 Magnet School." The article captures the shady reasoning behind the decision to close one of Stamford's four schools (out of twenty) that meets NCLB standards.

As usual, Starr and the school board end up looking weak:
Joshua P. Starr, the district superintendent, said that closing the lowest performing schools may produce worse academic results and that the board has learned from the successful practices at Toquam.

... what have they learned, exactly?

I have never, in all of the newspaper articles from the past 7 months, heard of the school board giving a single example of what they’ve learned from Toquam. In fact, a Toquam parent told me that one reason parents are so upset is that the school board has given no indication of how they plan to replicate Toquam’s success.

If the school board has a plan to implement any of Toquam’s practices, they’re not sharing it. Instead, they’re offering empty platitudes to excuse what appears to be a careless solution to Stamford's budget issues and bad long-term planning in relation to school numbers.

On a possibly more positive note, I am very interested in how Stamford plans to racially balance every single one of its elementary schools. I think it’s an important goal, but can you imagine how many kids they’ll have to move? If they can’t even smoothly close one school, how are they going to shake up all of the eleven remaining elementary schools without creating a big, poorly-thought out mess?

Speaking of poorly-thought out:
District officials say they will keep working with the parents to find a way to keep the Toquam students together even as they integrate into the new school.
“No one wants to be in the position of having to close a school,” Dr. Starr said to the parents. “Moving them is a good idea to maintain continuity.”

That last sentence begs so many questions and “huh?”s.



Past Stamford Talk articles on Stamford schools:

Stamford School Shake Up: SOS- October 11, 2007

Stamford School Controversy Part 2- October 18, 2007

Redistricting: Test Scores, Money, Suspense!- January 8, 2008

Toquam School Pretty Much Dead- March 6, 2008

*Update 3/18: The Save Toquam site notes that the Times said that Toquam is going to be closed, but that the board will not make the final decision until Wednesday. Click here to read more.