Youth Football Follies

Local sports teams practice on a field near my house where I sometimes walk. Last week, the main sport seemed to be the coaches yelling at the kids. There was so much yelling that I started to think it really wasn't a football practice so much as the "mad coach show." Here are some (pretty much) direct quotes:

"It's week six! WEEK- SIX! And you STILL don't huddle right! You don't come OUT of the huddle right! You don't even line UP right! ...And could you NOT interject a comment after everything I say!"

I should really start bringing pen and paper on my walks, because there were some other funny lines I don't remember.

Here's what I've learned after 11 years of teaching: if you have to yell at kids about the same thing twice, the problem is YOU, not the kids. It's a management issue.

Here's what I suggest to these yelling coaches: Rather than berating, state the problem, the desired solution, and the consequence. (And probably a reward.)
For example: "I'm seeing you line up too slowly. When I say 'go,' you line up as fast as you can. If you don't do it in under 4 seconds, you are ALL running laps. If there's improvement by the end of practice, I'll let you run one less sprint than usual." They'll probably have to run laps twice, but then they'll get lined up faster for the rest of practice.
(Oh, and if anyone walks during laps, the whole team has to keep running until the slowest player finishes.)

I teach the age group of these kids, so I have a lot of sympathy for the coaches. Kids aren't easy to manage, especially middle school boys who are trying to look cool for each other.
But I also have sympathy for the kids who are having their time wasted getting yelled at. A teacher or coach who has a good management system will not have to yell. When you are new, though, you don't understand it's actually more important to have a good management system (and maybe get nothing done at first) rather than try to get stuff done with kids who sense you don't have a good structure to your discipline.

Kids, especially boys, love consequences. Once I had a very boy-heavy class, and I read up on what works best with boys (keep them active, lots of competition, strict rules). I ran my classroom like a football team. "OK, people! Here is what I wanna see! If I don't see it, here's what's gonna happen to you! I repeat: Do this, do not do that, and if I like what I see, I'll reduce your homework a bit. GO!" And when someone messed up, I punished them. They LOVED it. They ate it up. They loved when I threatened them and then followed through on it. They were almost ecstatic.

I'm not joking, they'd cheer for me when I punished someone who didn't follow the expected behavior. It was like we were in a gladiator arena. They would jump out of their chairs and roar their approval.
(And when I say punish, I mean, the person had to like, come after school to close my windows, or be the last to leave for lunch. But if you say it's a punishment, they interpret something little like that as undesirable. The kids were fabulous, so we had a good time with it all. And they did some great writing for me.) Click here to read more.

Obama Visits the West Side!

Maybe he's been reading Stamford Talk, because that is my old stomping grounds, which I blogged about in "Southfield Area: Diversity, Boats, Hoods" (includes description of my famous public rollerblading wipeout).

Obama swung by Eastern Land Management on Selleck St, between Southfield Ave and Exit 6. I feel kind of good that Obama saw a not fabulous part of town before hitting the swanky Hilton. I mean, the rest of Stamford is so boring-looking! (Except Cove- Cove area is interesting looking.)
A commenter on the previous post said that Eastern Land Management received some federal stimulus money. Wonder what for? From the ELM site, they are a landscaping company, nothing too complicated. I guess local small businesses received some stimulus money?

I'm watching News 12 but not seeing much Obama coverage.
Click here, though, for an Advocate photo of Marine One landing in Stamford!
Click here to read more.

WHAT Local Biz is Obama Gonna Visit Today?

I have no clue. What ONE local business is worthy of a stop by Obama? Guesses? Umm, Colony Pizza? Ummm, St. Luke's Lifeworks? UBS? RBS?

I need to get a good tip so the baby and I can make a sign that says "We Love Obama"- no- "Kick Butt Barack." Yeah, that's a good message. It expresses my support, rather than unabashed, unconditional love, and encourages him to keep his nose to the grindstone to solve our nation's problems.

If you don't believe I will make a sign, you don't know me at all. Click here to read more.

Flu Shot Has Flown the Coop, but Obama Will Be Landing in Stamford

I'm hating myself because Stamford Hospital ran out of regular flu vaccine before I could get my act together and get the shot.
However, if I get a glimpse of President Obama's helicopter tomorrow, I will feel better. I know he's arriving at the Hilton for a fundraiser, but does anyone know what time?
(And uh isn't this going to cause some traffic problems especially because the Hilton is right by 95? Mental note do NOT go near train station Friday night!)
Edit, Fri AM: Offfff course when I checked my google reader at 3 am, there are three articles in the Advocate about this! A Stamford Times article says the fundraising dinner starts at 5, and that before Obama goes there, he is making a stop at a local business. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THAT BUSINESS IS, PEOPLE. The baby and I really want to catch a glimpse of the O.

An Advocate article says, in what I can only assume is a joke, "Though President Obama's motorcade is expected to arrive at the Stamford Hilton during Friday evening rush hour, police do not expect significant traffic issues." That must be an attempt to be funny. Anyone who's spent any time on 95 knows that a spare tire on the side of the road can cause significant issues, much less Marine One swooping by.

If I didn't have this baby, and if the weather were going to be nice, I might go hang out near the train station. But it's cloudy and cool, and I'm not really sure if it's responsible mothering to drag your baby to the Stamford train station and hang out there for an hour or two just to see a helicopter. But if I could get a hint of what that local business is....
Click here to read more.

Swine Flu Freaking Me Out

I am freaking out about swine flu.

I was already freaking out last week after a friend told me her friend's 5 year old was hospitalized in TX with kidney failure from H1N1. This was a previously healthy kid.
THEN I got an email from a friend in VA yesterday. Her coworker's kid went to a birthday party 2 weeks ago at an elementary school. Every kid at the party came down with the swine flu, and the birthday boy died. Again, a previously healthy kid. Correction: article says the boy had a pre-existing heart condition. Still.

My friend Meg of Fairfield County Child has a post up about where to get the swine flu vaccine (summary: good luck, places have it totally randomly, like the Darien Y has it today, I think the nose spray version). Some pediatricians have the nose spray available, I think, for ages 2-4. Mine doesn't, though. It's a crapshoot, pretty much.

I am definitely getting the swine flu shot or spray for myself. I am leaning toward getting it for my baby, too. I cannot imagine the effects of the vaccine could be worse than the actual swine flu and its accompanying complications. For goodness' sake, the kid ended up in the ER (twice) when we got the flu in CA, and I don't think that was even swine flu. Or maybe it was. But he never had a fever. But they say if you had flu this year, 95% chance it was swine. So maybe we did. That flu we got was certainly frighteningly contagious, which swine supposedly is.

I suppose if I were going to stay home with the baby all winter, and forego playdates and baby classes until flu season is over, I might feel OK about not getting him vaccinated. But one, I don't want to be a total hermit, and two, I'm going to be teaching in January, and he's going to be in daycare, so both he and I will be around a lot of germs. Sigh. I hate to submit my kid to untested vaccines, but this vaccine is made the same way all the other flu vaccines are.

My question is, why WOULDN'T I vaccinate him for swine flu? I'm getting him all the other standard vaccines, including regular flu, so why wouldn't I do one more? He's far more likely to come into contact with swine flu than polio or hepatitis B.

I do see how it seems crazy to give little kids so many vaccines, especially in the first year. I mean, it sucks either way, whether I do it or not.

Good luck to all of you, especially parents, in making your decisions. Click here to read more.

Flu Vaccines: Regular Here, Swine Vacc a Comin

I think I'm gonna bite the bullet and get the swine flu vaccine.
1. I'm a teacher.
2. I have a baby. He already had flu/stomach bug in September, and the sight of your infant vomiting is not pleasant, even if it doesn't go on and on for five days like my baby's did. (For all I know, we already had swine flu.)

Now, Stamford is not yet offering swine flu vaccine to the regular population, so I can't get it yet, but I'm going to swing by Tully next week to get the regular flu shot. My baby already got his first of his two-dose regular flu shot (my pediatricians, like many others, have not yet taken a position on giving kids swine flu shots- I'll cross that bridge later). I do know that I'm going to get the swine flu vaccine, and I'll probably make my husband get it.

Check out this Conn Post article for info.

I'm no vaccine pusher, especially for tiny babies, but my baby's flu was really hard on him- I don't want that to happen again. We had to go to the ER and get IV fluids because of the repeated vomiting, and then after that, he stopped eating/drinking for a few days. It was not good, and he was really only better after a whole week of round the clock care on my part, which was also pretty hard on me.

I used to have a much more wary view of vaccines, but know that I've seen how hard a little old flu can be on a baby, I am knocking down my pediatrician's door to get whatever vacc they are offering (mostly an exaggeration, I'm just saying, I now feel way better about vaccines even though they are a little controversial). Click here to read more.

Raising Awareness for Juvenile Myositis

As a Stamford blogger, I am fortunate to know most of the other local bloggers, including the wonderful Kevin McKeever of Always Home and Uncool. Kevin has asked our blog community to post the following essay to raise awareness in the blogosphere of juvenile myositis, a rare autoimmune disease his daughter was diagnosed with on this day seven years ago.

*

Our pediatrician admitted it early on.

The rash on our 2-year-old daughter's cheeks, joints and legs was something he'd never seen before.

The next doctor wouldn't admit to not knowing.

He rattled off the names of several skins conditions -- none of them seemingly worth his time or bedside manner -- then quickly prescribed antibiotics and showed us the door.

The third doctor admitted she didn't know much.

The biopsy of the chunk of skin she had removed from our daughter's knee showed signs of an "allergic reaction" even though we had ruled out every allergy source -- obvious and otherwise -- that we could.

The fourth doctor had barely closed the door behind her when, looking at the limp blonde cherub in my lap, she admitted she had seen this before. At least one too many times before.

She brought in a gaggle of med students. She pointed out each of the physical symptoms in our daughter:

The rash across her face and temples resembling the silhouette of a butterfly.

The purple-brown spots and smears, called heliotrope, on her eyelids.

The reddish alligator-like skin, known as Gottron papules, covering the knuckles of her hands.

The onset of crippling muscle weakness in her legs and upper body.

She then had an assistant bring in a handful of pages photocopied from an old medical textbook. She handed them to my wife, whose birthday it happened to be that day.

This was her gift -- a diagnosis for her little girl.

That was seven years ago -- Oct. 2, 2002 -- the day our daughter was found to have juvenile dermatomyositis, one of a family of rare autoimmune diseases that can have debilitating and even fatal consequences when not treated quickly and effectively.

Our daughter's first year with the disease consisted of surgical procedures, intravenous infusions, staph infections, pulmonary treatments and worry. Her muscles were too weak for her to walk or swallow solid food for several months. When not in the hospital, she sat on our living room couch, propped up by pillows so she wouldn't tip over, as medicine or nourishment dripped from a bag into her body.

Our daughter, Thing 1, Megan, now age 9, remembers little of that today when she dances or sings or plays soccer. All that remain with her are scars, six to be exact, and the array of pills she takes twice a day to help keep the disease at bay.

What would have happened if it took us more than two months and four doctors before we lucked into someone who could piece all the symptoms together? I don't know.

I do know that the fourth doctor, the one who brought in others to see our daughter's condition so they could easily recognize it if they ever had the misfortune to be presented with it again, was a step toward making sure other parents also never have to find out.

That, too, is my purpose today.

It is also my birthday gift to my wife, My Love, Rhonda, for all you have done these past seven years to make others aware of juvenile myositis diseases and help find a cure for them once and for all.

To read more about children and families affected by juvenile myositis diseases, visit Cure JM Foundation at www.curejm.org.

To make a tax-deductible donation toward JM research, go to www.firstgiving.com/rhondaandkevinmckeever or www.curejm.com/team/donations.htm.

Stamford Talk Note: Even if you don't donate, I think it's important to be aware of this disease in case your child or the child of someone you know ever shows symptoms like this. Click here to read more.

Cove Beach Marking: Driving Grown Men Insane

Well of course a 43 year old rollerblader attacked a man and his 4 year old son on a trike! Have YOU ever tried to decipher the markings of the track and path at Cove Beach?

From the Advocate: Shortly after 9 a.m. Monday, Karamon was skating down the path when he allegedly shouted and cursed at the father that his four-year-old son on a tricycle was in a designated area for in-line skaters, Cooney said.
"Mr. Karamon's contention is that the four-year-old was on the wrong side of the path," Cooney said. "But the path is for use by everybody and we can't have Rollerbladers or anybody cursing out people."
A short while later Karamon was approaching the family again and collided with the father who shielded his four- and two-year-old sons, Cooney said.

Well then, what DO those signs on the round track mean when they show a bike and a skate on the inner loop? Doesn't that mean "this track is for fast people, slow traffic stay out of the way?" Although I won't attack your kid over it, I always thought that slow traffic was supposed to stay on the outside.

I blame the annoying signage for this incident. It really does give the impression that walkers and slow things should be in one lane to let fast bikers and bladers pass by in the other. The problem is that Cove gives the impression that it can be used by really fast people on wheels, when, evidently according to this article, there are NO safety measures to ensure that 4 year olds on trikes don't get run down by testosterone-raging middle aged male rollerbladers.

Stamford Parks and Rec, this is your fault!

(And, that guy obviously LOST HIS POOPIE.)

My baby's shrieking, gotta run! We both have a cold and are hating life right now.

Click here to read more.

DO NOT THROW ME AWAY!!!

That was the stern- and ironic!- message written on a cardboard box that my husband put out with the trash this week.

Husband: The guys didn't take that cardboard box.
Me, in "duh" voice: They don't TAKE cardboard, you have to tie it up with string for recycling.
Husband: Of course, it also probably didn't help that you'd written "Do not throw away" on the box.

At this point, I collapsed in laughter. I forgot that I'd written "Do not throw me away!" on that box to remind myself that it contained a cool, yet very lightweight, serving platter.

I wonder what the trash guys thought when they read the box. The really embarrassing part of the story is that another side of the box said, "Use me for a par-tay."

I obviously was NOT going to put the box outside like that. I was going to bundle it up with the other 1,000 boxes in our basement. My husband finds it hard to believe that they won't just take our boxes, so sometimes he brazenly leaves them out with the Toter trash bin.
I laugh whenever I think about the ridiculous message(s) on the box. Click here to read more.

Little Buddha: Curry of Champions

A friend came over with her baby to visit today, and we ordered curry from Little Buddha: she the red with chicken, I the green with beef. I scarfed mine down while my tired baby fussed in a bouncy seat, and she managed to eat hers while her son military crawled around my living room, eating my shoes, shredding my Shape magazine, and pulling over our fireplace wood on himself.

I don't think I'll ever order that red curry, because the green transports me to another world... a world of very spicy food unlike anything else in Stamford. All I needed today was a glass of white wine, or maybe a pale ale, to go with that... but maybe that would have transported me too far!

You can't go wrong with Little Buddha for delivery; our total was 19 bucks for lunch portions. We both would have liked more rice, but you know, us new moms are trying to fit back into our pants... so that's OK. Click here to read more.

Starbucks Really is Leaving Me

Today I was really, really tired. I got motivated to go to the grocery store with the idea that I could grab a latte at the Starbucks inside the Super Stop and Shop. After wrapping up in the dairy and frozen food, I headed back to the Starbucks near the produce and entrance. IT WAS GONE. The Starbucks was gone. The chairs and tables were there, but the coffee-making area was full of boxes. "I'm not going to freak out," I muttered to the baby. (It's a testament to my fatigue level that I didn't notice it when I was IN the produce area upon entering the store.)

I had heard that the Ridgeway Starbucks (on Summer St., right by LA Fitness and Old Navy) was closing, but the SSS closing was a shocker to me. On reflection, the SSS was much less busy that the Ridgeway one, so it makes sense. Still, that didn't help my tired and grumpy mood.

I guess we're left with High Ridge and Ferguson Library locations. Well, Starbucks, it was nice having you so close to me, but now that's over. First the Newfield, now this. We doubted that Stamford was a five Starbucks town, and we were right. There may be another Starbucks I'm forgetting, but the baby is fussing, so I gotta run! Click here to read more.

I'd Hammer Out a Love- Between- My Brothers and My Sisters- Aaaaall Over this Laaaaand!

I'm sad to hear about Mary Travers' death. I met her once and she was really kind. Cheers to her for making such inspiring music- and for marching for Civil Rights, which I didn't know.
Mary, of Peter Paul and Mary, passed away at Danbury Hospital; she'd been fighting leukemia the past few years. My condolences to her family and friends. Click here to read more.

To the West Coast and Back

Wow. Blogging again. Feels weird.

About my long absence: we took a trip to Seattle and California, and thought I'd have time to do some blogging there. Ha! On our second day in CA, both Baby Q (almost 6 months now!) and I got the flu. I got better in a day, but for Q, the next two weeks were composed of 4 doctor visits, 2 ER visits (with 2 bags of IV fluid), countless calls to doctors and lactation consultants, and a pound lost that we are still struggling to regain. We've been home for a few days and are lying low, trying to get back into our routine and make sure he is eating enough. This is the first morning I've had time to set him aside to play while I open my laptop!

On a positive note, Seattle was pretty darn cool, and so was CA (San Fran area). I got to to see my niece and nephews (2, 4 and 6) and they are each so special. My husband flew out after the second ER trip, and Q pretended like he was better, so we got to hit Napa briefly. Of course, the night my husband left, Q vomited 4 times. That was a week ago, and he's been fine since.

As usual, mad props to the lactation consultants at Stamford Hospital, specifically Ellen and Eva, who counseled me over the phone while I was away. They are such a valuable resource, and they are FREE, which is amazing. I highly recommend their Friday Mother's Group to all new moms, breastfeeding or not- I made such awesome friends through it and learned a lot. Click here to read more.