Friday, January 18, 2008

Stamford's Single Women: Where Are You?

My friend Adam is a journalist from Fairfield, CT who covers the hip-hop scene. His latest post at Adam’s World is titled “Where the Ladies At?” and it's about how most underground hip-hop shows are 70% male. Why is this a problem? Well, because women have most of the buying power, and musicians want to sell records and have a following.

I’d also say it’s bad for the guys in general. We all know that men cannot survive without women. They can’t do their own laundry, they can’t eat healthily, and they can’t live emotionally fulfilling lives without us. Most guys at these hip-hop shows are probably single, or else they’d be home watching TV with their girlfriend. Men don’t need us to buy their CDs; men need us to talk to them, and then marry them.

Stamford also suffers from a woman-less scene. I’ve heard many guys say that it’s hard to meet women in Stamford, and the lack of ladies was one of Blog Stamford’s first posts. At the bar at Market on Wednesday night, there were two good-looking, nicely-dressed guys with no wedding rings. Any single women in sight? Nope. Look around at every bar, at every happy hour: men, standing around awkwardly. My heart breaks for them. They need a girlfriend. Women, this is your fault.

As a formerly-single Stamford resident, I can tell you that many of the women worth meeting are at home watching TV with their roommates, or they’re at the gym. The gym is the one place where men and women are together, and we all know that it is NOT appropriate for a man to talk to a woman who’s working out. You have to wait for her to talk to you. Basically, men, you are out of luck. You are at the mercy of women.

Plea to readers: ladies, get out there. Turn off the TV, hit stop on the elliptical, take a shower, and go out to a bar or concert. Guys, make an effort, too. Take your female friends out, because they make you look cool and approachable. Ladies, take your guy friends out, start talking to a girl, and introduce her to your guy friend. We’re all in this together. To keep Stamford happy, we need to be dating, we need to be flirting, we need to be having raucous, silly conversation.

Married folk, turn off your 42 inch plasma, go out with some friends, talk to strangers, talk to a female stranger, then talk to a male stranger, then try to get them talking. This requires effort and jovial laughter, but even married people need to act a little crazy sometimes.


Adam Bernard said...

You have no idea how many times I've been at the gym and thought "damn I'd like to date her... you know, when she's not sweating profusely on a treadmill." Then I remember Barney's Paltinum Rule from How I Met Your Mother: "The golden is rule is love thy neighbor. The plantinum rule is never ever LOVE thy neighbor." Basically, don't poop where you eat, or in this case, lift.

PS - Thanks for the props.

Anonymous said...

This post is hilarious because I just got off the phone with my friend and we were discussing how there are almost no good men in this area. I have two single friends that are total "catches" and they have been unsuccessful at finding good men. They think a lot of men in the area are too young, self-involved and pompous.

One has to wonder why a recent study found CT to have the lowest rate of marriage in the country.

Anonymous said...

Manford is a long time moniker given by me to the city for obvious reasons.

Anonymous said...

This is good to know! I'm a single gal and don't frequent the bar scene, but maybe I'll have a change of heart.

What I want to know is, where are the healthy, earthy guys? Do any exist around here?


Anonymous said...

KB, I'm really earthy. Into healthy, wholesome food and living. All natural foods and holistic exercise and healing...see you at Yoga class?.

Anonymous said...

Eew, Adam. Equating dating (or having sex) with pooping? Bad analogy! No wonder you're having trouble finding women. :-)

Seriously, in my experience, single men in Stamford tend to be narcissistic, materialistic, judgmental snobs. Not everybody, of course, but the ones I've met in bars definitely trend that way.

I've had more luck meeting guys while doing things -- walking at Cove Island, playing softball, playing darts at Fiddlers' Green or Burns' Tavern, etc. But the trendy bars downtown? No way. Snobby post-metrosexual jerks all over the place!

So for me the question is, what are the cool and fun activities in the area where single folks in their 20's and 30's can meet each other and have fun?

Stamford Talk said...

So true about the darts, but the darties I've known are major drinkers. Maybe that's bc the only place to socialize is at bars.. dur.

I have made some great friends through There's a 20's to 40's singles/new to town meetup that does some fun-sounding stuff.

Also KB, as far as finding earthy guys, I think some very nice men can be
a) molded to be a little healthier
b) adaptable to the lifestyle you want.
Some of these metrosexuals look on the outside like any other well-kept suit, but might just need a good lady to draw them out!

And Mr. Yoga, which yoga class do you attend? I've got some single friends to send your way.

Unknown said...

So .. wait ... why is it "NOT appropriate for a man to talk to a woman who’s working out." Why do I have to wait for her to talk to me?

I am a man, btw ... I'm not saying I've had success at the gym .. but, I've not come across that unwritten rule before. Maybe, time to cancel my gym membership.

Stamford Talk said...

I guess I mean, a guy shouldn't talk to a girl at the gym, because generally, no one talks to each other at the gym. Girls don't even talk to each other, and we're notoriously chatty. So for a guy to walk up to a girl and make conversation as if they're at a party, ew. It's hard to get out of that situation at a gym w/o being rude. I think most girls would agree with me.
What a guy CAN do is smile and give a nod if the girl makes eye contact with him. If she does that once, she'll probably do it again eventually, then the opportunity to have a friendship is there. Gotta start with friendship, bc like Adam said, it's awkward if you date and it doesn't work out, and you're at the same gym. Except he didn't say it that way.

Anonymous said...

I'm a single girl living here and I'm finding it nearly impossible to meet a nice decent guy. I will accept the blame for being home a little too much, but I do try to get out of the house. Plus I don't have many girlfriends to do things with and it suck going out alone. I'm not a bad looking girl but generally men do not talk/approach me. I will try to talk to strangers but it doesn't come easy for me.

Stamford Talk said...

I'm telling you, come to Trivia at Tigin on Tuesday. Walk through the bar yelling, "stamfordtalk dot com! "stamfordtalk dot com!" and you can join my team. I am serious. (If you are a nice normal person, I'm serious.)
Or, bring a friend or two, make your own team, and flirt outrageously with all the cute UBS guys.

Anonymous said...

I'm taking you up on the offer. I will do that. Perhaps next Tuesday. And I am a normal person. I stumbled upon this site yesterday while looking for social things to do. I enjoy your optimism about this town. I've lived here for 20yrs and I've tolerated it, you're helping me see it in a better light.

Anonymous said...

Well, recently all those women seem to have converged on the new place, Twenty of Stamford, at least on Friday and Saturday nights after 11. The music may or may not be Hip Hop, might be House, 80's remix, depending on the DJ so check it out for your self.

Unknown said...


I m happy to see this site.

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